Corporate Lunch Pillows

They were out of bagels...

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'It has come to my attention that we need to hedge against our five-year plan.'

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"We need to reset our fiscal compass to the changing business horizon."

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"As you can see, sales have been a little erratic lately..."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

'Now, if you would all put on your glasses, we'll get a glimpse of our profits in 3D.'

'Hanson - committee of four.'

"While we're on the subject of earnings, does anyone have a clever metaphor using the word, 'toilet'?"

"It's our new corporate strategy. I'd get on board if I were you, Watkins."

"Quick, let's make the decision before everyone else shows up!"

"It seems to be right about this point that our company started going into free fall."

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'It may not be our usual business lunch, but it will sure impress the hell out of the budget committee.'

'Who's pumped about this meeting?!'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'We'll see significant savings in health care costs with our new in-house operations.'

'Right here is when things really started to move.'

'One businessman's lunch-on-the-rocks and one businessman's special straight-up.'

'Would the person who's inhaling the very life out of this meeting please stop it right now?'

'Due to budget cutbacks we are combining our annual employee dinner with The Seven Basic Quality Control Tools Training.'

"The Board just wants to be sure you're well supported."

Landing That Tough Account

"Yay, we have an agenda for today's meeting!"

Food van driving through an office.

"A funny thing happened on the way to the office..."

"I think I see the problem."

'Just interrupt me if you have a question.'

"Actually, this is where there was a slight earth tremor."

'That's it agreed then - the company's new motto is going to be 'We didn't do anything illegal'.'

'Make sure that those 'Ideas whose time has come', get launched today.'