Corporate Identity Gifts

Chief of Staff A North American Indian working away in an office.

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

Welcome to the Team

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Loved your bit on market share, Felton - perfect blend of plausibility and outright deception.'

Parade of Businessmen

'I really wish you guys would knock that off.'

"Bill is in charge of our Ethics Department."

"You're on top of this week's Sales Pyramid."

"How can you have a meteoric rise to the top in a one-story building?"

'This is from a post-ethics phase.'

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

'By the time I climbed up to this job, I was too tired to do it.'

'I'm looking for something to impress the shareholders.'

"Sorry, we don't hire people with a history of whistle blowing."

"Openness and transparency are a big part of our corporate mythos."

Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand

'That's my 'job security' barometer.'

"You know, there's a corporate elevator."

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"Gentlemen, I've called this meeting to discuss absenteeism."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

'Risky, but I like it!'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

'You don't get a raise with this promotion, but you do get to call your work area a 'work station' instead of a 'cubicle.''

"Whoa! Back up a second... 'R & D' stands for 'Research & Development?' We always thought it meant 'Rip-off & Distribute!'"

"Boss, the customers can hear you cackling maniacally." "I've topped myself, minion." "It's not enough to run ads that tout our own excellence: we have to simultaneously tear down the competition." "Behold: my masterpiece." "'100 percent of those who drink Coffee King’s coffee will die.'" "Best part is it’s technically true."

Casual Thursday

'He's a real high flyer!'