Corporate Holiday Gift Pillows

"If you get the page 'intentionally left blank', you're fired."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

Bo're'droom

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

Daughters on the beach

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

"I always forget what an expert I am in curling."

Businessman: 'We're like one big family here, because of all the nepotism.'

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

'I'm a bit pressed for time. Give me your one-minute elevator pitch.'

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

"No matter what, sleep when the bay sleeps."

'Chewing cud, Steven? Well, I hope you brought enough for the whole class!'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

A couple looks at posters of Rio, Paris and Tokyo, all of which feature skyscrapers.

'We always like to give more bling for the buck.'

"Ticket and passport, please."

Loopholes

'Hang on a minute...'

"We're going to have to think outside the box to boost sales, minion."

'If executive bonuses are outlawed, only outlaws will have bonuses.'

'Give it to me straight, Mr. Erskine. Is there a downside to unmitigated greed?'

"At least we're consistent ... "

Mouse returns home from work.

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

'Our first mistake was hiring an honest accounting firm.'

"Having our team all work on the same page has been a lot more difficult since our company has gone paperless."

"Goodnight Tommy, sleeptight, watch the millenium bugs don't bite."

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

Snake Charming

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

S. S. All You Can Eat