Corporate Fun Enthusiast Pillows

Junior Executive Lounge

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

'Office' block tightening it's belt

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"At this office no two days are different."

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"We have an acronym!"

'How would you feel about working in a small pond?'

Office pics on dinner table.

Parade of Businessmen

We're cutting the forest in half, so I'm going to need you to make the oxygen of two trees.

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Why yes, there was an extra five thousand dollars in my pay check last week...er...I thought it was a raise."

'I'm surprised you like being your own boss. I am your boss and I hate it.'

'Excellent!...We've been looking to hire someone who can think outside the box.'

"Yes, we do accept resumes online, but there's more to it than giving me your computer with your resume on it."

'I don't want your input until you produce some output.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

Trade Show Sherpas

Dogs reviewing organizational chart - 'Hunter can eat Spanky or Fido, Spanky can eat Spot or Duke,....' and so on.

Thesaurus Company

"Not bad, considering no one knows exactly what we produce or sell here."