Corporate Culturist Gifts

"This is Dave, he'll be second guessing your every move."

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'My boss wants us to appeal to a younger and hipper crowd. So, I'd like a tattoo that says 'Accountants Rule!''

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

'I called your doctor, Mr. Bennett... he said to gobble up 2 companies and call him in the morning.'

'Oh, no! We've inadvertently gobbled up our own parent company.'

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

Like it or not...NO lumping it on the job!

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"At this office no two days are different."

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"We have an acronym!"

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

Let's Celebrate

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."