Corporate Culture Interpreters Pillows

"A 'take charge' guy would be nice but I'm looking for more of the 'take blame' type."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'Office' block tightening it's belt

The trend toward less formal offices began to gain steam.

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Look at them smiling. They've reached their comfort zone."

"...But of course we'll still be friends on Facebook!"

'Here's the CEO - Chief Egotistical Official!'

"I'd heard that Farnsworth had a difficult secretary to get past."

'We're looking for impartial people who think the way we do.'

'We used to be a patriarchy, but lately we've been more goddess-centric.'

"You realize, of course, that I'll have to make a big show of having security escort you out."

"So how did the rest of the team respond to your promotion?"

Worried man looking at stock market chart on his computer screen with office party going on in the background.

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

"No more thinking outside the box Bamford. From now on I want you to do all your thinking inside your box!"

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

'Actually, I was hoping for a more inspiring mission statement.'

'Being taller than me will get you nowhere.'

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"I absolutely refuse to be surrounded by yes men, do I make myself perfectly clear?"

"We need to make some cuts. We’ll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"You're just buying time, Peterson! I want those figures on my desk by tomorrow!"

"I'm a retriever but I prefer 'Go-Getter'."

'Great visual support.'

"You're an overweight, overpaid, over-the-hill senior executive, Dalrymple. What did you have in mind to remedy that situation?"

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

People, what a fantastic opportunity for a reset!

'Shift our strategy? I didn't know we had any strategy.'

'Worst case of buzzword overdose I've ever seen!'

'Lets see now, Henderson, you've not shown any initiative because nobody asked you to.'