Corporate Creativity Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'Human resources? This firm is totally lacking in ingenuity. Hire some ingenues at once.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

The MBA Draft

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"I'm not sure about this new trainee - he asked me when does he get to see the actual ropes."

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

Parade of Businessmen

'I try not to think big too often or I get terrible headaches.'

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Do you have a minute, Bob? I'd like to speak with you about the concept of 'leadership'."

Let's Celebrate

"I think you might need to start again."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"Sophia, will you agree to form a joint exploratory committee for marriage?"

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

Now that I finally have an expense account, there's no time to eat.

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."

Offices moved to 23rd floor - taking the company to new heights - the management.

Greed.

Dave realised that Clive didn't see problems,only 'challenges to be embraced'.

Change Management: Change can be ruf.