Corporate Climber Humor Pillows

"I want you to treat this for what it is, Miss Garlands, a dirty weekend and not a step up the promotion ladder!"

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

"I'd say we were pretty much on target."

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

How leaders fail

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

Can do...No can do

Storm in the out tray

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'The good news is we're projecting a profit. The bad news is none of us will be alive then.'

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."