Corporate Chaos Connoisseur Gifts

"Due to circumstances out of my control, I changed my mind concerning the new project."

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Men's business romper.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

"To summarize the year: we were taken over, we took over, we were taken over and we took over."

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'Did you get the hard copy from Mr. Dawson?'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Spontaneous Kombucha

"I've decided to add a little magic, so, everyone, say hello to my little friend."

"Wait -- I have an app that creates a napkin to write the contract terms on."

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

Meowlzebub

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

"Money is life's report card."

"Anyway, we'd love to have You on board for the Creighton deal."

'I don't know. It's too busy.'

"We're all well aware of the madness, Phipps...where's the method?"

I came in early to seize the day...but it seized me first.

'Look at him with another business model on his arm.'

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

allovertheplace.com

"Wow, these are great cartoons! We have to let them go, and anyway, cartoonists are on the endangered species list..."

After the Nordstrom-Nordstream Merger

'First, I want to apologize for calling this meeting on such short notice.'

'Most of my clients are shareholders, managers and sales executives.'

"You know what I miss? Meetings."

"Miss. Wilcox, get me the coast."

"Business has been steady."

"Most of us only come in two days a week now."

"That's when we put those expensive organic snacks in the vending machines."