Corporate Ceremony Lover Gifts

"I always cry at mergers."

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Being the boss's yes-man used to be easier. Now you also have to 'like' him on facebook, follow him on Twitter, link with him on linked-in...'

"At this office no two days are different."

"We have an acronym!"

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Office meeting

In and Out Sourced.

Trade Show Sherpas

"We don't observe 'casual Fridays' here."

"I think you might need to start again."

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

'Nice power tie, J.B.'

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"