Corporate Affairs Aficionado Pillows

Security at executive staff meeting.

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Our product flooded the market... Before backing up a deluge of consumer complaints!'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

Nothing Succeeds Like Confidence.

The MBA Draft

"I've just never worked anyplace where the 'alpha male' was a woman."

'The good news is I had a very good year.'

"We have an acronym!"

"At this office no two days are different."

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'All those in favor of having anchovies on our pizza will signify by saying aye.'

"Damnit, executive-trainees don't have 'accidents'."

Parade of Businessmen

"Security? There's a goddam tree in my office."

'Before we starnt, has everyone shed their moral baggage?'

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

Businessman sees door sign 'Department of Mismanagement and Overbudget'.

XYZ Inc, putting a folksy, human face on unfettered corporate greed for over 50 years.

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'Now this is exactly what I was referring to when I talked about 'scope creep'.'

"I think you might need to start again."

'Our company has hit an iceberg and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

'Go to work, do your job, go home. . . Penburtson, that is the American Dream!'

'The question is - to what level of data do we wish to stoop.'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"I know we're not lions, but let's call ourselves a pride anyway."

"I think we should try something a little simpler."

"The scowl might just be what this place needs."

"We don't have an exercise room here. You'll stay in shape by climbing the ladder, jumping through hoops, toeing the line..."