Corn Kernel Crusader T-Shirts

"Oh no. Not the niblets."

You're the puff in my pastry!

'Not that sort of body building program!'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

A dog at the bakery.

'Then Jack told his mother they were getting out of the dairy business and going into crop production.'

"I've been listening to your podcast. And though I agree with your opinion on deforestation and global warming, I strongly disagree with your claim that I overcook my pasta."

Farmers' Warnings.

"Hey!-This looks like a good place!"

'Can we get the corn that's already been chewed?!'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

Bake Sale! To benefit our town animal shelter

Snowman with big carrot nose to one with small carrot nose: 'I'd increase your beta carotene.'

Dogs and Cake

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

The Rural Bidet...

'Wanna look for corn on the internet?'

No matter your skills, there's something you can volunteer to do.

'You're right, Mom. Carrots did give me good eyesight. Now I can spot vegetables I don't like a mile away.'

Fresh Corn and Dental Floss farmstands.

Mock cover of 'Landfill' magazine

"I only surf the web for the Java and cookies."

'Come over here and nag me, I'm homesick.'

"I can't get the blasted tin opener to work."

'Isn't it time you got over your silly fear of water?'

"It's cold outside. You're not going anywhere without your oven mitts!"

The vegan hunter

Happy Eightieth Birthday

"See, there it is.Thou shalt not bake cakes for gay couples."

'The food inspector, Sir!'

Fred developed a hybrid-hybrid bio-diesel car.

A mutant, possibly evil, ear of corn.

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'I've had my cake and eaten it, too - Now I want the cake of others.'

'Take this and use it to make really dumb jokes.'