Cork Pop Lover Mugs

'Sorry, it's just not the same. I liked to hear the cork popping and the gurgle of pouring wine.'

The last song before the party exploded.

Tina Turner

Gremlins 47

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"I'm astounded that your dog is channeling Eubie Blake! Has he never heard of Elton John?"

Time Machine Collision.

Tragedy! When the feeling's gone and you can't go on.

Wino Appreciation Group

Wayne and Kerry created a joint name like their idols Brangelina and Tomkat.

Science Journal. Editor. Ernie, we need a headline that will interest the general public in our artificial supernovas. "Big stars involved in nasty breakups"! (Published originally on March 2, 2009.)

Latest Aye Phone

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"

Adam Levine

"... And precisely how long have you been reading underground comix?"

The Angel's Share

'Another Scotch?'

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"Wow! - That's bland, derivative and sooo dull..! It's gonna make us millions!"

ABBA

Desert Island Bagpipes

Paul McCartney

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

Crunk

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'So that's why they use the Dutch flag colours...it's flat!' (Pepsi logo on vending machine)

Office of Lyrics You Can't Understand

"I'm Batman."

Kylie Minogue.

Man out of order like his coffee machine

'I'm Loch Ness, and this is my son, Elliot.'

'But I don't want to go to the Ball, Fairy Godmother, I want to go to the Madonna concert!'

'CD's: Manufactured pop groups as seen on tv!'

"It turns out you're not A, B or AB but the much rarer ABBA blood group."