Cork Dork Mugs

Butler and his friend drinking in a cellar

'There's over 500,000 different wines? Bernie, we've got work to do!'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

"Can you recommend a suitable white wine to drink with my red wine?"

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

"In our house the four major food groups are Bordeaux, Merlot, Chardonnay and Champagne."

true love.

'I've written six books on wine; owned my own winery and taught a wine class for two years. My next goal is to taste some.'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

Red Wine

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

Wino Appreciation Group

'Debate Club cheerleader. We have a lot in common. I was a total dork, too.'

"I've tried that one; it's a blend of 74 different red grapes - including two of the plastic decorative type."

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."

'Who took the cork out of my lunch?'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

Driver at Grand Prix shooting another driver with the cork from champagne

"And would you like a wine stopper?"

'Move? Are you kidding? With the wines the guy next door collects?'

Baby sucks cork on Australian's bush hat.

'Would Sir like to smell the screw-top?'

"I had no idea Dom Perignon came with a screw top."

"This wine is CORKED!"

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

A little fizz?

Wine-tasting Tour.

"Remember... the cork. You're supposed to smell the cork!"

"Nope, no need to smell the cork."

"I wasn't sure if the wine was breathing, so I've been giving it mouth to mouth."

"This cheap wine doesn't have a cork to smell, but the label is scratch and sniff."

Amateurs de vin...