Copywriting Pillows

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

'He's written some great slogans and some great labels, but he's never written a great coupon.'

Copywriter for Deodorant Commercials

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Bond James, Bond."

The Art Student.

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Copycats

I should be a writer when I grow up...

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

'How fast can you hype?'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

Squeezing the Free Press.

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"The menu just says fried fish, but may I give you a more compelling, surprisingly lyrical description?"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"No, I didn't steal your content. I just have your content's doppleganger."

Campaign for Plain English

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.