Coping Strategies Gifts

Mel puts on his best friend's thunder vest, crawls into a bathtub and tries to keep it together while democracy explodes all around him.

"It's the perfect cure for the corona virus blues."

"Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be worse..." "Could be... oh, never mind."

Clockdown

"I have a recurring nightmare where the paradigm keeps shifting without me."

'Grace under pressure is a beautiful thing. Grace after the pressure is off...not so nice.'

"It's nice, but how do you adjust the sleep number?''

"...Not many men could cope with failure the way I have."

'It's best if you take it one day at a time.'

"I've got three pre-schoolers at home so I had to memorize the Serenity Prayer."

"I'm not trying to be spider anything, I'm just insanely bored."

"He's locked himself in the filing cabinet and says he doesn't want to come out until 2024."

'May I be excused? I just checked my college investment portfolio online, and I feel sick.'

Archimedes helps Sisyphus

"Brian's fine. He`s got his own coping mechanism."

"The anger management consultant said he wasn't going to alter his **** dates at this t****stage which fits in with the 'managing change' consultant who said it was to late to change her plans..."

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

A sturdy hand-hold against the vicissitudes of life: $1.00 per minute.

'And this will be our strategic plan for the coming year.'

Anger Management: Breathe in and Breathe out.

Run, Mike, Run!

"Is it too late for me to stop poo pooing his expansion plan?"

"Omg, bird and squirrel are here."

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

Luck is when good classroom management skills meets a day when distruptice students are absent.

'You need some stress.'

'If you fuss over him all the time and make his life too comfortable, he'll never leave!'

SMALL BUSINESS LOANS, 'Your business plan seems to depend on winning a lot of state lotteries....'

"I've learned to compartmentalize my stress."

When the going gets tough the tough gets going...and the rest hide in the washroom and cry.

'Got to give it to him - He knows how to leave gracefully.'

"My problem is I obsess over whether I worry enough."

"I'd like to enter, as defense exhibit 'A', this red herring."

'They're my presentation trousers.'

"Has it occurred to you that you occasionally feign a lack of understanding?" "What the hell does that mean?"