Cool Grandpa Admirer T-Shirts

"Tell me again, Grandpa, about how you let your freak flag fly."

The man in the big yellow hat remedies George's curiosity once and for all,

"He's one hundred and five years old and I think it's disgusting!"

"Ok, I have my hearing aids on now: let's hear this mighty roar of yours. . ."

'One thing, however - if they DO bite you, you don't suffer!'

'Don't try so hard . . . I want a dad, not a homey!. . .'

Raffia Mafia - "Vinny, there's some nice baskets comin' in through Queens."

"I love you, ya big galoot."

"People keep telling me that it takes more facial muscles to frown than it does to smile... I tell them that I am working out."

The Wrath of the Godfather of Ventriloquism

Al Pacino

'Omerta' sign in a Mafia library.

"You talkin' to me?"

"I thought that sperm-bank donors remained anonymous."

"Wow! Gramps was REALLY happy to get all those neckties for Father's Day!"

Makes me feel young again!

'Child resistant cap'

I need to take the day off. Family tragedy. What happened? An errant parachutist crash-landed. My grandmother knocked down. Then attacked by clowns. No one ever buys sick day anymore.

Have a cool yule. (Snowman with an earring).

"Go ahead. Ask Grandpa to tell you the story about why we don't play with matches."

A Cool Invisible Cow.

"When you said you were getting a mobility scooter, Dad, this isn't what I had in mind."

That's what I call value.

'Gee, thanks Uncle Luigi!'

Super-Senses-Man is washing dishes, when suddenly...he senses something...a closing of a portal that could lead to unspeakable consequences and sinfulness.

'Why can't my mother be more like my grandmother?'

Are you ever worried people will see all the stuff you put online? Not at all … because I don't put anything online. I'm not on Facebook, I'm not on Twitter, and I conduct all my business in person so they can be charmed by the twinkle in my mustache. You are looking at a man who's totally off the grid, little buddy. It's like talking to a Neanderthal. I also shave with a razor-sharp sliver of granite my grandfather bequeathed unto me.

'Grandpa, how did you settle things before litigation?'

'First time grandfather hey! Me, I'm a great great great great great great great great grandfather...'

"I'm only attracted to older women."

It had been many years since Mitch had given up on the idea that he might find his ideal companion...

Mafia Christening