Cookout Captain Prints

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Are the hot dogs the burned ones or the really burned ones?"

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

'Call for you on the cream corn line.'

"You're turn to grill tonight Adam, you make the best ribs."

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Any of you guys feel like hot dogs?"

Aprons

Moses uses the burning bush to roast a kosher frank

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"This chicken wasn't cooked - it committed suttee!"

Not only were the bears coming out of hibernation but they went ahead and invited themselves to dinner.

I drive, therefore I am.

When Grammarians Grill: 'Well done, well-done, or, well, done?'

"What about the five that fell through?"

'Has anybody seen the flyswatter?'

"I use old Duke to check my steaks. If it feels like Duke's tongue, it's rare, if it feels like his ear, it's medium. . ."

The first law of barbecuing. Your tongs will never be long enough.

'Propane ran out.'

"We could have saved time and just served the served the charcoal briquettes."

Lane restricted to cars with three or more persons at least one of whom is a woman or visible minority.

"Hey, everybody, we're invited to a cookout!"

'John... is that a collar?'

"It's only the Ericksons, so why don't you just use the recalled hamburger meat."

The Race.

"I am still vegan, I am just having a cheat day."

'Forget it, Sister, Jessica -- Notre Dame doesn't need cheerleaders!'

'How would you like your steak...overcooked, burned to a crisp or completely incinerated?'

'Please try not to offer expert analysis.'

"Honey - get the smoke can. The guests are starting to swarm all over the bee hives again."

"Uh oh, is that a spit roaster the farmer is putting together?"