Cooking Guru Pillows

'Yes, but the carrots are still hard.'

"How can you be out of wings?"

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Domestic Superheroes!!

Counting ribs

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

On August 14, 2011 at app. 2:00 p, Derek Winslow made scientific history by converting an item of the animal kingdom into an item of the plant kingdom.

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Just how big of a tailgate party are you expecting to have?'

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

would you like it with extra botulism and a touch of salmonella?

'Don't order the Super Duper Jumbo Special.'

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

Barbecuing Aprons For Today's Guys

"I've just barbecued my head again."

"Tonight, perhaps Mrs. Lewis would prefer this quiet little table for two from which to send back her entrée?"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Compliments to the chef! Pass it on."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Can you romance me after my tiramisu?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Pizza sounds wonderful. Italian, Greek or Hipster?"

French wine