Cooking Comedy Lover Pillows

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Cook and her Maids

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"I'll bet you're very proud of your handsome, well-behaved little sporks here."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Deviled HamDeviled Eggs.

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

"I'm sorry about the delay, sir, but Chef's anger management class ran over."

"Life is pointless."

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"Your father dressed you, didn't he?"

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

'We need more cake shows!'

'By the time I'd watched Delia and Ainsley and Jamie Oliver and Floyd...I'd spoiled the broth.'