Cooking Comedy Lover Pillows

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"I read somewhere that truffles are a gateway fungus."

"That’s a toaster. It’s a tanning bed for bread."

Cook and her Maids

"I pray that he will enjoy my pie..." "The smell's enough to make me cry!"

'I told you not to complain about the hospital food!'

'and then stand in dish for two hours.'

'Anybody for breakfast?'

"Then add one extra large egg..."

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

Linda discovers she had just baked the wrong ziti

"It'll never be ready in time."

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

Pizza with 'Made in China' imprinted on it.

...If sauce has not begun to thicken after 10 minutes, pour contents back into can and wait for your wife to get home.

'Not now, you'll spoil your dinner.'

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

"Holy smoke. What kind of frosting is that?"

'...now pour the mixture into a baking dish...'

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

Jar Wars: 'Use the forks Luke... Use the forks!'

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"Ooops...well, at least you now can see that there are a lot of fresh mushrooms in our soup!"

Whipping Cream

"1 pinch of salt, 3 pinches of baking soda...oh dear, a cup of flour? How many pinches is that?"

'It was embarrassing. I always swore I'd die of her cooking.'

"I'm sorry about the delay, sir, but Chef's anger management class ran over."

"Life is pointless."

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'We need more cake shows!'