Cookie Prankster Mugs

"Dear Santa, The cookies were made with laxatives. If you give me the bike I want, I'll give you the key to the bathroom door. Love, Jimmy."

"Don't worry, dear. You'll grow."

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"How is it that someone who reads all the Harry Potter books still doesn't know the magic word?"

Bubble Gum Farms.

"Ninja bread men"

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

'Hey, what happened to my cookies?'

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"The chef ran out of the shiitake-infused sweet potato au gratin, so he substituted hash browns."

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

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"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

"But I'm conducting an experiment: will the twentieth cookie taste as good as the first?"

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

"Here's the pub-grub you ordered"

'Thank you for the turkey, thank you for the dressing, and thank you for the squash, which Mother cleverly refers to as pumpkin pie.'

Doughnut Criminals

"So which one of you pesky dogs stole the last cookie from the bottom of the jar?"

'Santa, don't believe him. He's the one who ate the cookies and milk last year.'

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

'Word to the wise: Always check the cheese for pills.'

'Because it's there!'

Cookie Thief

It had been a good life, filled with passion and joy, tender bonds, and finally one irretrievable error.

'They got me for trespassing, grand theft cookie and trafficking Xboxes across state lines.'

'Okay, this is the scene where the bear becomes a parachute.'

"For God's sake, Michelangelo, it's just a cookie!"

MD to patient: 'So, it's a little fuzzy and you're seeing spots?'

'... we've got a crowd of, oh I'd say fourteen million organisms here for the annual 'Salmonella potato salad bowl'!'

He's Tasty!

"Your cholesterol level is through the roof, you've got a nasty case of gingivitis, and to ice things off... yeast confection."