Conversing T-Shirts

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

"Okaaay, so 'maybe' I don't 'understand' how air quotes 'work.'"

Annual run-off at the mouth.

"I see what the problem is... His reservoir of small talk is empty!"

No wifi. Talk to each other and get drunk hour, 5-7.

"He talks so fast, he says things he hasn't even thought of yet."

Mum and daughter

Outspoken

'Born again birthdays don't count.'

'Well, it's been very nice chatting to you. And despite what my husband thinks, I don't find you in the least bit effeminate.'

'Roy, am I boring you?'

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

"What's a polite and subtle way to let someone know his breath reeks?" "You could try the old 'take out a piece of gum for yourself, and offer them one too.'" "I invented that one back in nineteen and twenty-nine, when I offered a stick to old Jebediah Stinkman." "Let me rephrase: What's a less subtle way to tell someone his breath reeks?" "You could try leaving a note."

"Time moves so fast when you're older."

My friend just told me every detail of his life, and now I'm going to tell them to you. Bob has the regift of gab.

"Well, if you don't want to talk politics would you like to talk baseball?"

"Suddenly I can't think of anything to chirp."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'Men are like fragments of soap... they get together in bars!'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"I'm not weird I'm a 'person of weirdness'."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Let's say you've always wanted to make someone a mixtape to show them how much you care about them. What's the best order? Do you start with songs about how rich you are before moving on to the songs about love? Or vice versa?. . .What order would best simulate sincerity?"

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"What I'd give for a stimulating conversation..."

Very Difficult Conversations

"They haven't said two words to each other—it's sad... I hope we don't end up like that." "They keep talking to each other—it's exhausting... So glad we don't have to do that."

Meet the Enemy