Conversational Skills Gifts

"Oh gosh, have I been talking too much again?"

"You did have the last word, but this is a new argument!"

"So, what do you do for play?"

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

'Don't start timing me yet! This staple won't come out!'

"I don't actually talk, I just mimic sounds."

"Passengers, as we begin our descent, you may now suddenly act open and friendly to the person beside you."

Your salary as a research assistant is commensurate on your ability of spell, define, and delineate the work 'commensurate.'

"Do you mind if I bounce something off you?"

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'There's a bench over there why not sit down and rest your weary mouth?'

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

A Young Boy Talking To An Old Gentleman.

"I'm a great ... umm... like ... umm... like... umm ... communicator."

'Before we get started, let's go around the table and practice making eye contact.'

Philosopher's pub with 24 hour thinking.

Body Language - "Guess why I'm annoyed."

"It says here you can think on your feet. What happens when you sit down?"

'Dear Miss Etiquette, I'm never sure if I should say anything...'

'All of your references say you play well with others, but there's nothing in here about you actually doing any work.'

'Now that we've evolved, we should work on our people skills.'

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"I devote most of my time to defending the bastions of culture."

How to Do Small Talk??!!

'We'll skip that rubbish.'

"How to communicate better with your mate"

Psychiatrist with bartending diploma

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

Revenge is a dish best served cold.

"It was a slow day - my pedometer says I only put in 1, 273, 426 steps."

Being unable to clearly articulate responses to interview questions is a common mistake...