Conversation Starter Fans T-Shirts

Ask Me About My Bumper.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"You're such a good listener."

"So, you say I'll be doubling the numbers of animals I kill?"

"Would you relax? All you guys are so tense. I just wanted to tell you to your face how enigmatic I find you."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Anna - there's someone I'd like to meet."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"This has nothing to do with you ... this is between us and the tree."

"You know how it is, one minute I'm selling insurance in South Dakota and the next minute I have a hook for a hand. How about you?"

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

"He's sworn never to say Boudicca, ShrOwsbury, whoM, or narrative."

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Global warming is a great icebreaker."

"Not to brag or anything, but I'm the elephant in the room at my company."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

"Remember how I've always had a hard time asking for help?"

"Idea?" "No. Just a light bulb."

Next time, a larger tip for the server and less free tax advice.

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"He gets easily abstracted."

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

"That's not a knife crime initiative. That's a knife crime initiative!"

"How to talk to people" "Make them rue the day"

“Hey Everyone! It’s the first day of Fall! Okay, you go first!”

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"Remember, if I can't introduce you it's because I can't remember their name - so that's when you step in and introudce yourself so we can get them to say it, okay?" - Company Party Prep.

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'