Control Freak Conqueror T-Shirts

"I can't stand microwave managers."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

Remote control pirate bully

Rage.

What My Day Feels Like

Yeah, it's funny, but you'll see, in this house, it's the guy who screams the loudest...

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

Second lifeReal life.

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

Trays on desk read: In/Out/Lose in the Shuffle.

"When the slowest car in the fast lane don't go any slower than the fastest car in the slow lane."

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

In Tray, Out Tray, and Shredded Paper Tray

"Miss Jones! Clear my schedule until I get this sorted out!"

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

IN OUT UP DOWN AND ALL AROUND

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Crop duster wanted.

College student cleans messy dorm room littered with clothes with leafsnow blower

Bedroom Traffic Control

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

A politician's dream come true...

"So I bought this doohickey that is very good with chaos."

'I hate running in the outside lane.'

Unwelcome guests can be caught and thrown out...there is no need to kill them.

The inevitable conflict of interest facing every crisis manager.

"My name is Van Gelsing, Madame. I'm an expert in cleaning teenagers' rooms. If you need me, just give me a call, okay?"

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'

'Oh silly me, I'm trying to fix my glasses with nasel spray instead of super-glue!'

Time Management Conultancy - Out, Out

'It's about your reports, Mittens. They're incomprehensible -- It's as if you walked across the keyboard, laid down and rolled over it a hundred times, then took a nap on it.'

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"