Control Critic T-Shirts

"Move along now, people..."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"By labeling it, I control it."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

The new Physics

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

"One can be against entitlements, and still feel a sense of entitlement."

"You'll never believe who's here."

The Algonquin Round Table

'Cutting back to a single securities regulator is a good idea. After that, one more reduction and our troubles are over.'