Contract Negotiations T-Shirts

"Now this is our standard company contract - I want you to stick in a couple of loopholes."

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

SALE

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

'I went into that meeting with a hidden agenda and then forgot where I put it.'

Changing Minds

'Okay...3.5 billion in stock, 2.5 billion in cash, 80 million in deferred compensation, my own private jet, a luxury car lease for the next ten years, 3 club memberships and...

"Oh dear...I don't think negotiations are going too well..."

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'