Contract Negotiation Fan Pillows

'In this pyramid we are unionized. We don't accept more than 50 lashes per day.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Spock's expertise in M&A deal making was key to the formation of the Federation.'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

"And for a left-handed designated hitter and a player to be named later, Mr. Steinbrenner would gladly fly Elián home."

Cat to second cat: 'I need you to sign a pre-nap.'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"You do realize selling your soul will be considered a capital gain."

"My little brother's almost all better. Can I get half-off?"

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

'A ground ball to deep short, handled beautifully by Santana...'

Sports Lawyers

"Goes to show ou can't please all of the people all of the time!"

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

'Dammit, I said 25 Billion Dollars-and not a penny less!'

'I learned everything I need to know about negotiating from watching professional wrestling.'

Sports Agency. In my work as a sports agent, I told this athlete she needs to improve if she wants to be well-known. Ironically, in diving you become famous by not making a splash! I got this marathon competitor a sponsorship so he can focus on training. He's going to take the money and run! This sprinter will earn a bonus if he sets a record. Oh, going after some fast money! And I made this guy agree to give me an extra slice of his pay if I negotiated a great contract for him which I di

'They want to know if they can have their arrows back.'

"It's a pretty standard contract - just sign here below, ' ... and hung by the neck until dead.'"

We can't top your previous salary, but we can give you a more prestigious email address.

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

I'm thinking of suing your caf

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'They're still ticked off about losing the cost-of-living allowance.'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"Just sign here - yes, in blood."