Contract Drafting Pillows

'This contract proposal needs more work. I'm not experiencing any twinges of guilt over it.'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

The MBA Draft

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

'Upset at you for breaching the non-compete? Of course not.'

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

"We structured the deal so it won't make any sense to you."

"We-your agents, successors, licensees, and assigns--would like to share a few thoughts with you."

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'I'm designing a robot that'll do my drafting homework for me,'

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

"Okay, I'll renew your contract and raise you five sick days."

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

"Nice work on that German contract. You've made your mark, Ashworth."

'What'll it be?'

'Our union contract keeps us from cutting salaries, but nothing prevents us from charging for parking.'

"Gracie's the only kid I know who offers El Cucuy under her bed a no-compete contract."

Pre-nuptal Agreement.

'There's really no need for confusion. Part 95 of section 33 of Article L in the contract clearly states ...'

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'You have the contract drafted by the lawyer. This is his bill for it.'

"Stop, stop right there. That's it, that's the Anderson contract."

'He followed me home, Mom. Can I sign him to a five-year, $80-million contract?..'

"UK government aren’t budging boss. Sole supplier or not under the new procurement regulations our new contract has to have three KPIs..."

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'In conclusion; our major contract expires tomorrow, we have no idea what we want, and no knowledge of the market, It is time to pass this across to the Procurement Team...'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'There's no use complaining, clause 34 section 67 of your contract says '...and any other duties as outlined by your manager'.'

We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities...

Colin kept a notebook by his bed to write down any ideas he had during the night... "Genulph hyu donkey slapperthwaite."

"My loophole out-loopholes your loophole."

"I want the contract to say that if we win a championship of any sort, no one spills champagne on my head."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."