Contract Conundrum Lover T-Shirts

"His cell is a TV remote, his diplomas are elevator inspections, his computer's an Etch-a-Sketch -- but his contract's iron clad."

'Following your 'barbecue summer' forecast, I'm revising predictions of your contract being reviewed.'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'But how could me speaking at the Secret New Products Seminar break our Confidentiality Agreement?'

'Now close your eyes and visualize our upcoming softball game against the elm street zen center and kicking their sorry behinds.'

'So, what are the terms of use?'

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

'Wow! How did you catch something smaller than the bait you were using?'

"OK, let's go to contract."

"Excuse me, One has not actually signed the agreement yet!"

Of course my love is unconditional! We put it in the pre-nup, remember?

'According to this pre-nup, if I marry you I have to wait 24 months to upgrade.'

'Can I interest you in insuring against your insurance not paying out?'

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

"By opening this cookie you are agreeing to whatever terms..."

'I don't care how much you interfaced, interacted, coordinated, arranged, or organized in the past. Just tell me how many prenups you've worked on.'

"Just sign here - yes, in blood."

'It is a standard contract - sign at the bottom. The first clause forbids you to read any of the others!'

'Hi. I'm Tiffany and I'll be your waitress tonight -- this agreement may be terminated by either party at any time.'

'OK, I'm back. Here's a notarized hard copy of my offer granting you three wishes, all ready for your lawyer to review. And I don't mind telling you, pal, it's jerks like you who are RUINING this job!'

'Hey, I don't agree with the new clauses in this new symbiosis contract...'

"It's unconditional love Thursday through Sunday ONLY. It's in the prenup!"

'See, you misread it - it's void where prohibited by lou!'

Tunnel of love - 'Now about this pre-nuptial agreement..'

Information. If you can't put toothpaste back in the tube, how did it get there in the first place?

'Sorry, but pinky swear doesn't cut it anymore. My attorney has a few documents for you to sign.'

"Hey hold on...I'm reading the small print!"

If People Believed in Heaven and Hell

'She'll sign that prenuptial if he'll sign this postnuptial agreement.'

'Son, the lease on your room requires you to keep the room in good order at all times.'