Contract Chaser Pillows

Does that mean we got the War Office contract, Harris?

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

'Parsloe, your desk is blocking the corporate food chain.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'We don't know what it is but it was in the sale so we thought we'd better get one before they sold out.'

"The pizza came late and it was cold!"

'All right!! Bull's-eye!'

"Remember when everyone told you this job would lead you nowhere? Well, you've arrived!"

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Election slot machine. No matter the outcome, I always lose money.

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

We Never Look at Prices Shop.

'Take five Harry, I'm going on ahead to scout for sales'

"What's the best way to break up a marriage?"

"The sales don't start until next week but I saved a huge amount of time by buying everything today!"

'Let's run it through legal.'

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

"I thought I'd be quids-in but I can't shift the bloody stuff."

'Then one day Ralph decided there isn't anything more important than money, and became a day trader.'

Potter is going to go far, unless I manage to stop him.

'We're facing a hostile takeover.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'What a bargain!'

'Brilliant job, Rafferty. Advance two cubicles!'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"I really hate sales meetings"

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."

"Contested elections are ALWAYS problematic...but I'd like reassure you that even though the partners chose me on this occasion."

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'I knew him when he was just the tea boy.'