Contract Challenger Pillows

"Why Pay More?"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'This is my partner. He'll be taking care of the small print.'

"Where are you guys going?" "We’re out of here!" "It’s October 28th!" "The new team are running late. We need you to stay until February 2025!" "But I’m tired!!" "How do we know they won’t bail on us again?"

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

The Devil's in the detail!

"I like your thinking Steve. Hiding the contract loopholes under the staples is brilliant."

'Watch it...I'm carrying a concealed weapon...my lawyer.'

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

"A handshake is as good as a thirty-page contract, eh, Mr. Harrison?"

'Let's run it through legal.'

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract..."

'Forget your two million pound recording contract. When are you going to get a steady job?'

"Perfect! Since our company's motto is 'transparency,' make the contract's fine print light gray against white."

"You misread the terms of your employment. Your probation period is 6 years, not 6 months."

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

"The only thing wrong with Capitalism is competition. Sign this non-compete agreement."

Corporate Lawyers

'So, what are the terms of use?'

'Hang on!...You don't expect me to swallow that as well!'

"And despite recent insinuations, this loan contract being signed by my client is perfectly legitimate."

Boss talking to lawyer, 'These new Terms and Conditions you've drafted for us are extremely long and overly complex - our customers are never going to be able to understand them. Well done Jones!'

"No this is your contract. The other one's your bill

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

' Even though you can't make heads or tails out of it, let me assure you, it is, heads we win, tails they lose.'

"Before we hire you, we'd like you to sign this non-compete agreement. It basically states that you won't work anywhere else for the rest of your life."

"I'm ready. Are you ready? Let the billing begin!"

Estate Agent Office

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

Lawyer to lady: 'Since I specialize in eye injuries, I've eliminated all the fine print.'

'And best of all - no hidden clauses!'

'Remind clients to come prepared for their initial consultation with documents, names, addresses, checkbook, credit cards, cash.'

'Surely it is no longer legal to include 'deposit of your first-born child'?'

"No, no. The contract I signed was of the non-binding kind."

"Of course under the new contract 24 hour cover will be optional, you could also opt to do 36 or 48 hours a day!"