Contraception Strategist T-Shirts

'He called the game obstetrical roulette. It's played with five birth control pills and an aspirin.'

'I sent out for everything.'

'It's a zen diaphragm.'

New arrival

Colin could see that his competitor had obviously done his market research.

Planned Parenthood: Not Tonight Dear. I Have a Headache.

'You did remember the condoms didn't you?'

'It was so romantic. He got down on one knee, showed me the ring, and proposed--right after we exchanged credit reports.'

"Because the 'morning after pill' is not a rectal suppository."

Protein Powder Irony

'If you don't like fathers in the delivery room, where will you be?'

'They're not reliable.'

'I don't understand why you don't want to take your daily medication.'

'I won't rule out using sex as a weapon, but I do have a 'no first use' policy.'

"I never realized trying to have a baby would mean replacing the soft music and candlelight with an ovulation strip, a thermometer, and a starter pistol."

'Don't be silly mum, the morning after pill doesn't work 14 years after conception.'

'Efficiency,' he whispered.

'Oh... I was supposed to swallow the pill?!'

'Democracy? I thought we were spreading love.'

'Someday, just for a change, why can't we send American Flu to Asia?'

'Sorry JD, there's been a takeover bid.'

"I can't play squash tonight, Ed. I promised Linda I'd put in a little Kama Sutra time with her before the opera."

'But I take the pill everytime I become pregnant, and it doesn't help.'

Safe sex.

'I can't say yes or no now, Steve, but Vince Johnson's option runs out next month.'

'Did I take my pill today?'

Weight gain on the pill.

Morning After Pill

"Father I'm guilty of spermicide"

Reaper Condom

'Just the one, thanks.'

"Jing, I have girl friends...not girlfriends. Getting rid of that small little space isn't easy."

A man on the street selling birth control.

'-and tell me,are you a multi-millionaire,mega rich,or just plain rich?'

Condom Police: 'Wallet's empty. Same old story - says he just ran out.'