Contest Champion T-Shirts

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'I'm doing a 'Win a Date with a Computer Geek' contest on my website.'

'We've won a free trip to the mountains.'

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Not much money, glory, or praise

'The employee who guesses closest to the correct number of beans in this jar will be awarded this year's annual pay increase! -Management, ATOZ Accountants

'Rhea of the Year.'

Elf of the Month

"Brian, isn't Dry January and Veganuary enough?!!"

'You daft cow...I said I needed some company and was out for a duck!'

'Congratulations. You're our 15th caller. The grant is yours!'

"You just blinked — I saw you blink first. OK, again. Ready? Go!"

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'And the gold medal goes to...'

'I want to thank all my obstacles for making this possible.'

'Listen, I know that nose was what made me famous, but it also led to me being typecast. I'm hoping this change helps me get more diverse roles.'

Man reading letter, 'You may already be a winner' about to step on rake.

"By God, this year on my vacation I'm going to read a book!"

"Sure I won the spelling bee contest, but since everyone has spell check, no one cares!"

No soliciting - unless you're one of those sweepstakes

'I'm taking you off the javelin - you throw it way too high!'

'You're excited about winning a traveling toothbrush kit in a sweepstakes after spending $300 on postage and entering 1,500 contests?'

Died After A Brave Battle With Everything

'You are the unwisest man...goodbye.'

'On the contrary, if trouble breaks out we stand a much better chance if we split up.'

Angel Wins Publisher's Clearing House

'1000 pies to eat before you die.'

Save the Hamptons