Contentious Legal Battle T-Shirts

"Your ex-wife's attorney is totally unethical. I'm certain he'll take a payoff."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'This prediction has a margin of error of plus or minus fifteen...fifteen class-action suits brought against the company.'

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

Lawyer to bad hair lady: 'It's difficult to establish pain and suffering based on a bad hair day.'

"The doctor is in court on Tuesdays and Wednesdays."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

"And finally, I implore the jury not to take my clients lack of alibi and blatant lies out of context."

"Another slander suit!"

"The last time I was in Europe was 4 boyfriends ago..."

"Does it hurt when my attorney does this?"

'Furthermore, had a handrail been fitted to the wall , my client would not be sitting here now.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'He started it!'

'Is that guy back again? Hey, if you find that sponge I lost, give a shout.'

'It's my mother. She wants to talk to you.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'That's nothing...I've been told my wig takes fifteen years off me.'

'Insofar as all parties have agreed to mediation, I've taken the liberty of hiring a medium.'

"Excellent! It's the disclosure documents for your hearing on Monday."

'Yuo were wise to get a second opinion. Now we can sue both doctors.'

"She left everything to you. But, the hamster is contesting the will."

"I forget. If I have an adverse reaction, do I call my doctor or my lawyer?"

Keystone XL

'I bet this is going to be another round of criminal bashing, isn't it?'

"I pronounce you guilty as charged and wife."

"What are you thinking of, Dear?" "Oh just something I said to Robert Mueller."

"I'm thinking of suing your cafe. I just got a $2,000 dental bill. You should be paying for it." "I'm in here every day and I always order your sugary scones and your sugar-filled lattes." "That's why I had twelve cavities!" "I'll settle out of court for a scone and a latte." "No deal."

"May I remind you that our prenuptial agreement called for me to take the plants?"

'Nothing cements the relationship like the chance to get it in writing.'

"And the person who made all those promises, this man you loved, trusted and ran away with, who subsequently stole your life savings and then abandoned you... is he in the courtroom today?"