Contemporary Humor Prints

Your tiny santitsed hand is frozen....

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

Wifi in Hell

"Freud doesn't work for you, so I', going to try some Dr. Anthony Fauci..."

"Kevin, I'm leaving you to find myself ... a better Internet connection."

Pop Top Ice FIshing

This man is an island.

'The little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home and shopped online...'

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

'My philosophy is that the bigger you are, the smaller the desk you need.'

It's good news when an agent says "This is a big break" to an aspiring actor. But not good when said by an orthopedic surgeon holding your x-ray! It's jarring when your business partner says "We're going under while he's looking at the books. But it's very routine when said by a submarine captain speaking to the crew. "You're on fire" is nice to hear when you're playing an excellent round of golf. But not what you want to hear when you're grilling burgers. "A thumb on the scale" often mean

"Lemonade App: $1"

Gotta take you out, kid – You're getting booed off the field on my Twitter feed.

"Hello, police? I'd like to report some suspicious activity. A youth without a phone in his hand."

"These days, I don't eat homework. I just install ransomware."

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

"How do you think that makes Gail feel, knowing her only dog is posting naked pictures of herself all over the internet?"

"Bloody Cyclops!"

'Has this wall got spellcheck?' 'Dunno...ask it.'

'Put that out! -- the tribe just went smoke-free.'

'The Streetwise Men.'

Hits Needed, please click.

'It took a great severance package before I agreed to ride off into the sunset.'

"Prospecting ain't what it used to be."

"And remember, dear, at midnight it turns back into an Uber."

"I have only my selfie to blame."

Surveillance Camera Phones on the Premises.

"I thought you turned location services off."

"I would like some facebook friends for Christmas."

Mother says to Jack to protect himself on way to market

'I'm probably not gonna get a 'Like' on my facebook account after this.'

Statue Selfie

Jesus turns water into Vitamin Water.

"I need a companion."

"She comes with breast implants,a kiss and tell diary and a reality T.V deal."