Contemporary Dining Lover Mugs

"One order loaves and fishes. Would you like fries with that?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

'Only the years when the market was Bullish...'

'Of course you're very dear to me - that meal just cost a fortune.'

"I know, I know, every time we come here, I swear I'm going to try something new, but I always end up getting the same thing."

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

"Regular service or affected?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I think we'll pass up the Château Mouton-Rothschild '34."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

"Would the gentleman care for a razor and comb to start?"

"Can you recommend a wine that goes well with red meat, Zanex, and Lipitor?"

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'Can I get a box for this?'

Ordering Food At A French Restaurant.

"I'll have the Mediterranean truffle sea bass, pan seared, and thrown into my mouth from across the room."

"I like Casual Dining, but this is too casual. I ordered spaghetti!"

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

"We're out of flowers."

'How do you guys want your trans fatty acids prepared?'

"Linguini for two?"

'How do you prepare your chicken?' 'We just tell 'em they're gonna die.'

-A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Three Pigs.

'How d'you want your eggs - down your pants, over your head...?'

Fast Food Restaurant

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'Shall I bring two children's meals, or will Madam regurgitate her own?'

'Maybe that'll teach you not to argue with the waiter over the bill!'

"What do you recommend today?"

"Mixed nuts are brain food, or so I read in 'Mixed Nut Digest'."

'We have a strict dress code. Can't let you in without a straightjacket and tie.'

"Wow, you've got to try this combination."

"Oops, my bad … It is vinegar."

" and my husband will have..."