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"My computer beat me at chess..."

"Portrait of a Lady"

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

"We need to sue, claiming free speech is being violated by remotes with fast forward buttons."

'Just sitting around letting advertisers brainwash me. What about you?'

'It's creative as hell! Now that you've got that out of your system, give me a campaign that will sell.'

"And now, since our local teams really stink, here are scores for actual good teams around the country that you might want to root for."

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

They get into debt so fast these days...

The Harper Plays Cricket.

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

Cristiano Ronaldo

'He's missed six goals today. I bet he could kick himself.'

"The problem is that our ads have either been too Jewish or not Jewish enough."

"That's 'Help' with an 'H'."

You can't fool all of the people all of the time, especially with our advertising budget.

"I need to buy a faster fastball."

Football.

"Yes, it's a sports related injury. He dropped his bowling ball."

'Yo, Corona! Pack your stuff! You've been traded.'

"Depressed, anxious, worried about the future we've had a great deal of this recently...I'd suggest you avoid watching England for a while."

Fox hunting.

'It took some doing, but we got your name on!'