Consumer Trends Pillows

"The price is up again? I hadn't noticed."

"We can put a man on the moon, but we can't put a Trader Joe's on Wailea Beach?!"

'What else do you call it when you experience a huge recall, humongous fine, only to find out buyers just want something big and the right color.'

Express Lane Conversation

Do you do Paywave

Men's Suits. I hear being suave and sophisticated is coming back in style. That's just an urbane legend.

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

La Table

"You said the cauliflower is locally grown – would you elaborate?"

"The Chicken: Just another body type that shouldn't be permitted to wear yoga pants."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

A Macaroni in 1772

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Keeping warm.

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

All Natural Nothing

"By the end of next week, these fads such as social media, automobiles and making fire will all be over."

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Queen of Quinoa

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"Absolutely not!"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

Made in China

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

Excess Baggage: Fans of 'Deregulation' and the 'Free Market' probably have not had to buy a plane ticket recently.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'The recession is over, again.'

"But everyone else gets to market their own personal scent!"

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"