Consumer Behavior Pillows

'Our strategy is perfect! This is the customers' fault - they don't think the way WE do!'

'I'm torn between brand loyalty & changing trends in the consumer experience.'

'It's a rare generic defect. To put it bluntly, you have no brand loyalty.'

The competition's customer vs our customer.

'It's an internet survey asking if there are too many internet surveys.'

"Now that we know what the consumers want, it's our job to make them think that we have it."

Artisanal Everything, Inc,

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

"Unfortunately, the consumer was not as demanding as we had hoped."

I'm sorry - could you run that past me again?

Rising Tide of Consumer Indifference.

Instant Gratification service desk (with a long queue and delay)

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'Don't say I didn't warn you. The rising tide of consumer indifference is finally catching up with us.'

'It's a shame that those of us who are filled with consumer confidence, don't have any money!'

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

'Panic buying.'

"Give them what they want? Don't be an idiot. We'll make them want what we give."

"Welcome Gentlemen, to the screwtop focus group..."

"In my experience, cars with hyphens in their names are the best."

"I need one of them and one of them..."

"For our market research, each package needs to be individually marked off and put over there."

"She says she wants to pay for it, in full, in cash. . . Is she allowed to do that?"

"Well SOME people might see it as buying a load of useless, overpriced rubbish but I see it as a brave attempt on my part to support a flagging retail sector."

"Zero to 60 in 4 seconds. Think of it! You'll be the fastest guy to the next red light!"

Agoraphobic's shrine

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

"I don't know - none of these cookies offer an engaging brand narrative."

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"Yes, I drank this Poland Spring water I bought here...but I still have no idea 'what it means to be from Maine.'"

"Where’s the option button that says, ‘I despise these presumptuous tip suggestions’?"

"Wait, Daddy! I'm that window’s target audience!"

'We let viewers skip our ads in 15 seconds because by that time we've already collected all the browsing data we need!'

"Focus group" "Out of focus group"

"That will be $109.85." "What! Sign says they’re $1.69 each." "Yes, and you have 65 of them."