Console Critics Prints

'I could only afford the Xbox 180, so you only get to see the characters from behind.'

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

Bureaucrats held up by the workers.

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

'Console 3GMEGA3D plus 3K+SUPERAUDIO USB 35,000.000 MGB...'

Armstrong, the new Ybox game console comes out next week. I've got to get in line at Computer Villa. Nope. You are callous and inhumane. Fortunately, I have a backup plan. Computer Villa sale! If anyone cuts, chew their nose off.

The Royal Wii.

'Sorry, Dad. My offensive lineman says I don't have to go to bed yet.'

What do you want that Santa isn't getting you? You'd get me a Kinect?! If it's new and plugs in, I know nothing about it. It's a full-body fame system. You can play tennis or soccer. I'll get exercise! Or

Not so much as a 'hello Tweety' since she got that games console!

"This camp had better have a power port!"

'My mom won't let me play 'Merchants of Mayhem.' I tried, but she's a game changer.'

Gamers

"Wanna come over and watch the big game?....I was actually talking about the new 'Pac-Man vs. Superman' X-box game."

'The driving on that game is simulated, but the road rage is real.'

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'Choked on his own vomit. I wonder how many points you get for that.'

'I felt an overwhelming nostalgia for the old video games where you sit on your arse.'

"Of course we're still friends, but Eddie has the newest video game system....yours is three months old!"

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

My incredible dedicated pet monkey. You've waited in line for a week at Computer Villa. Computer Villa parking lot. Now I have my new Ybox game console. I am complete man. I am whole. The new Playstation comes out this fall. I am empty and wanting. Form a new line to the left!

"I think we should call it 'The Poo.'"

"Eh? What? Eh? I'm sorry, I dozed off during all that cross-field and back passing."

'Your kinect is broken.'

"We suck at this."

'This is a great book. Have you read it?'

"Do you have any video games that would help reduce my role as a father?"

I heard oil companies just discovered huge reservoirs of oil way under the ground, all around our town. But they can't get at it because President Obama declared the whole region a national monument before he left. Why would he do that? Doesn't he know we use oil to make plastic, and that my Playstation is totally made of plastic? What happens of I ever need to buy a fourth Playstation 4? He's endangering my supply just to save a bunch of trees and mountains and waterfalls and endangered bearico

'Here's a twist. Before you go on your quest, an insurance salesman tries to sell you life insurance. If you buy a lot you can date prettier girls.'

"Wow, this new version is a way more immersive waste of our youth."

The referee...