Considering New Career T-Shirts

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Pipe Dream.

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

I'm going to practice on you before I start managing other people.