Considering New Career T-Shirts

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

Pipe Dream.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."