Considering A Career Change T-Shirts

"I figure whatever doesn't kill me gets me one day closer to stress leave."

'Will I run for President, you ask? H-m-m-m...let's see what the ol' 'Palm' reading predicts!'

'If I could live my life over, I'd need a really big loan.'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'Let's not go by the book.'

Butterfly Woman

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

'How fast can you hype?'

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"Well if I can't be a cowboy I'll be a lawyer for cowboys."

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"I've just been offered a job sorting out the Y1K bug.."

Pipe Dream.