Considering Laser Surgery T-Shirts

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Facelift Book.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Mirror mirror...

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

'Marvelous Makeovers. Hair by Debby, Nails by Fawn, Laser surgery by Dora.'

'Well, you're not blind, but have you ever considered laser eye surgery?'

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

"Knife...fork..."

Roman Nose Cosmetic Surgery

Jutting Protuberances in just 10 Days!

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

'Lasik surgery is VERY affordable nowadays...UNLESS YOU'RE A FLY!'

"There's a tattoo here that wants to have its person removed."

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

The perils of boob jobs.

'My husband wants me to be a 'perfect ten', so I'm here for a pair of 'fives'.'

'I can't see a problem, Your nose should be a very simple procedure,'

"They're not identical twins—they're surgical twins."

'Good news, Little Orphan Annie. We've finally got some donated corneas for you.'

'I'm so jealous: I would love to have a nose like that...'

There's a slight risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid... Listen,headaches gave me these wrinkles in the first place!

High School Science Project Competition

"I told you that a £50 facelift was a bad idea!"