Considering Laser Surgery T-Shirts

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

Hairy men taking advantage of the laser tag/laser hair removal combo package.

'No, I'm sorry, Danny. I'm afraid your dad won't be able to shoot laser beams from his eyes after surgery.'

Facelift Book.

"It's too late for a nose job and too early for a face-lift."

Mirror mirror...

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

"No threat detected. Their vast resources are spent on lasers that combat wrinkles and unwanted hair."

'I had laser eye surgery and I still can't find the remote.'

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

"All these years I put my nose to the grindstone. Now I need a nose job!"

'Well, you're not blind, but have you ever considered laser eye surgery?'

'Marvelous Makeovers. Hair by Debby, Nails by Fawn, Laser surgery by Dora.'

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

'It's an easy product to sell. We just have patients view themselves in high def.'

Jutting Protuberances in just 10 Days!

Roman Nose Cosmetic Surgery

Bored kid fighting off an alien attack.

Surgical equipment burning a hole through the table.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

John's Laser Shop and Eye Patches 4 U Shops

"There's a tattoo here that wants to have its person removed."

"After I had my eyes lasered, the people down there stopped looking like ants. Plump, furry and delicious little rodents, yes, but not ants!"

'Well, yes, sometimes there can be side effects to laser eye surgery!'

The perils of boob jobs.

'My husband wants me to be a 'perfect ten', so I'm here for a pair of 'fives'.'

'I can't see a problem, Your nose should be a very simple procedure,'

"They're not identical twins—they're surgical twins."

High School Science Project Competition

'I'm so jealous: I would love to have a nose like that...'

There's a slight risk of headaches as a side effect I'm afraid... Listen,headaches gave me these wrinkles in the first place!

"I told you that a £50 facelift was a bad idea!"