Conservation Cheerleader Pillows

First Katrina, then oil spills. What's next, a plague of locusts?

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Upon entering the rain forest...' 'Thousands of unknown species, and we can fool around with the genes of every one of them.'

Welcome to Mauritius Home of the Dodo Burger

Just Stop Boil

'There is no point in leaving civilization, because civilization will not leave you.'

Ice Skater

'Boy, being an endangered species is quite hard: I get weighed, tagged, filmed, recorded and studied by scientists: I have no privacy...'

Water scarcity in Africa

'Joe's really slow to take hint...she's been wearing that dress for two years.'

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

'So in summary, if you harpoon a whale enough it dies.'

Trees on the form of a map of the world, being eaten by an infestation of pests that look uncannily like humans.

And when did you first begin to feel threatened and endangered?

Santa Claus delivers the vaccine.

Human Cull: People who leave their litter on the beach.

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

Closing down.

"You bet I'm stressed, I can't stop imagining there's a poacher hiding behind every bush..."

"How do I stop climate change? Tip 1: Insulate your house..."

"We're baitfish - we'll always be endangered."

'Yes, as dodos, we can't fly, but if we could only learn to climb trees, we would be safe from predators...'

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

'They're all hoping Kate Middleton will help them to cross the road.'

"Yeah. Ever see those cell phone towers that look like trees?" "Dude. That beak..."

"Well, you're not itsy-bitsy to me."

Not only is species extinction over-hyped, but Republicans are pretty sure that any birds we drive to extinction can be replaced by the next generation of warplanes.

Deer in Fear

"So. . . no, you are not going to root for another team."

"You were right. It's a mess."

Super Bowl Sunday sermon: "Is it better to kick off or receive?"