Connoisseur Of The Arts Prints

Discussing A Concert.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Saint George and the Drag Queen

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

Creation of Red Wine

"I believe it took a team of twenty five, working six months at a cost of �250, 000 to come up with that."

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Marriage a la Mode - Death of the Earl.

"Hamlet. By William Shakespeare." Painting.

The Cremaster Cycle

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

The Death Of Venus

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

The Kali De Milo.

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Music Student

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

Sir Edward Elgar

"The script isn't funny, but maybe if we put some unfunny actors in it and get an unfunny director it will be funny."

"See that? He's the kind of peasant I detest."