
"I stopped going to yoga when they told me I had to turn my phone off."
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"I stopped going to yoga when they told me I had to turn my phone off."
Yoga for Alcoholics
'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'
'Wish you wouldn't cut your nails at bedtime!'
'I'm finally at one with the universe...but apparently that doesn't include the DOW.'
Hold for one more page, then roll over into the bended elbow, resting chin pose. Book yoga.
What're you doing today, Darlene? Power relaxing. 9 to 10:15 I'm reading the paper. 10:20 to 11:30 I'm getting my nails done while reading Catch 22 for my books club. 11:45 to 1, I'm eating lunch, catching up on calls, paying bills then kicking back on the couch from 1 to 1:15. The afternoon is sheer bliss. Yoga from 2-3, Pilates from 3-4, massage from 4-5, meditation 5-6. Now move. Please now! You're interfering with my relaxing. How the type-A spend their Sundays. 10:02, bathroom break. Everyo
"Well, it gets lonely up here!"
'We have to move - they're putting in a cell phone tower up here.'
Binary Meditation.
'Oh, sure -- You want me to waste my valuable time helping you extinguish your ego'
'I warned him that this was no place for a guy with inner-ear problems.'
"I can take you to my yoga instructor, how about that...?"
Think/Don't Think
ME, MEDITATING ON NO-SELF
'So the yoga classes are working out pretty well for you then?'
"The alarm will alert us when our meditative, present-moment-restoring tech break has ended."
"Thank you."
'Thanks to your Yoga classes, my usual state of catatonic stupor is easily mistaken for deep deliberation.'
"Here goes nothing."
'I'm texting my inner child.'
'I've been up here almost a month now -- when do we get paid?'
"Which celebrities do this type of yoga?"
www.meditation.commm
"...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch...Ouch..."
"How come we never sleep at my place?"
"You're thirty minutes late. Does that mean I get it for free?"
'I'm getting worried about Goopta -- he's been having an out-of-body experience for three weeks now.'
Pot Needles
Binary meditation.
'Relax...empty your cache...clear your history.'
Santa Yoga
Melting Heart Pose
Yoga on Holiday
"Come on! You’ve done the whole ‘be one with the universe’ thing … be one with the Scotch."
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