Connected Parents T-Shirts

"What's the password to access dad?"

"Don't tell me... you hired a professional decorator!"

Text Culture

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

"Oh, Mrs. Horris, he just said his first words..!"

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

Mother CareBaby Gap

'You can't start them exercising too early.'

"Go ask your mother ... and I'll tell you why she's wrong."

I think we need to get him outside more often. iPad … iPad …

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"Wasn't it your turn to drop him to online school?!"

"The kids? They're great! Karen got retweeted by a famous YouTuber and Timmy just hit 16K Insta followers. They start influencing so quickly, don't they?"

'I'm too tired to listen to a story tonight, mom. Just e-mail something and I'll read it tomorrow.'

"Mommy, can I help you feed the troll?"

'That's my boy! An A+ in 'spell-checking'!'

It's a mobile, wireless internet device

"You be the Boogey man tonight!"

Triplets

'It used to be enough to keep them fed and clothed. Now it's fed, clothed and connected.'

"Mom! Download this app, make an account, sign in and scan this code to see what I made for you."

Just a month into their divorce, Joyce began to sense that she and Ron were subtly competing for their kids' affection.

"How many times did I tell you? Don't put the outdated chargers in the drawer for broken headphones."

"These are payments for babysitters, but it's more exciting to pretend I'm a drug dealer."

Wet Nursing Air Stewardess

"Awww....someone's done a pooping in their pants. How cute?"

"Mommy want you to have everything she had when she was growing up."

'How do you block the kids from objectionable internet content? I found a bookmark called,'DriveYourParentsInsane'.'

"Shall we go talk with those au pairs?"

'I really don't like breast-feeding, but it's really good therapy for her.'

"I don't mind them sending me to my room, but then they shut down my wifi."

"Mark is my partner in quality parenting."

'John and I have agreed on 'Mary Kate Elizabeth,' but we're still working on a screen name.'

My Child Is A Smart Phone At Bayville Middle School.

Children's stories and technology