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Honesty Ratings...And the pig got up and slowly walked away.

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

'We've conducted a chemical analysis of the beef in hot dogs, and we've determined, Mr Ruth, you are guilty of steroid enhancement.'

CONGRESS, 'It was a really tight race this time -- I had to use some of my campaign contributions for CAMPAIGNING!'

"What's your position on the Strait of Hormuz?"

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

Beware of the Legislation

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

Welcome to Washington, D.C.!

'I saw my shadow this morning, so I guess we're in for six more weeks of government gridlock.'

Mice in the Commons

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"They heard about the 'Party Hearty' legislation."

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

'I've thought up a great amendment to campaign finance reform -- special Medicare benefits for sore losers!'

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'