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The Last Republican in America

Occu-Pie Mars

They're Not Just That Into It

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

Putin and Zelensky

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

"Take us to your inclusive leader."

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

This Is What Moral Corruption Looks Like

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

"...Accept finite disappointment, but NEVER LOSE INFINITE HOPE."

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

Stockwell's day

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

"I wish he'd actually play with his toy hospital, rather than just making strike placards."

'Bedtime stories at the Browns'.'

"We live in interesting times. Present company exempted, of course."

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'